The experience of a single mother raising 2 or more children
Statement purpose
The aim of my research is to examine the real experiences single mothers undergo in raising their children. Literature reveals that single mothers face a lot of challenges which has developed my curiosity to discover them from horse’s mouth.
Literature review
Single mothers encounter stressing events because of raising children on their own. More so, many people also believe that single mothers are stressed. This stress though does not seem to affect them in taking care of their children (Bronniman, 2011). Another research talks of stereotypes effects and their influence on single mothers’ perception. That society blames the single mother for several ills in the society. Conversely single mothers view post-secondary education as gateways to better life, for themselves and their children (Haleman, 2004)
Second issue identified is that single parent view their parenting as effective contrary to what majority thinks. Existing literature supports their satisfaction by refuting some of the claims that single mothers are worse parents. For instance, single mothers prefer single parenthood to seeing their children grow in a violent environment (Parron, 2008). In addition they consider their parenting methods effective. Ellwood and Jencks 2002, emphasis these negative believes in the society and reinforce single parenthood preference. According to them, Americans hold that it’s better to raise a family as two parents than one. However, they also note that in case of disagreements and where things turn violent, choosing to do it as a single parent can be a good idea.
Single mothers struggle to balance work and raising children is another issue that has come out. At times, a mother’s chances of developing her career are held back by family obligations. On the other hand, single mothers may miss some family movements because of work (Greenberg Quinlan Rosner, 2010). Other research indicates working mothers encounter challenges trying to strike a balance between the family and workplace. According to them these two have a reciprocating relationship. Work has to give in a little bit to accommodate family and the opposite is true (Robbins, & McFadden, 2003).
Discussion
Single mothers stress and its effect on childcare
Single mothers undergo stressful conditions as they struggle to financially support that family and at the same time play roles within the family that men spouses would play. Available information point’s that single mother’s stress affects their children.
Single mothers have enormous responsibilities rested on their shoulders. This ranges from bread weaning duties, housekeeping to actual care of their children. As a result women finding themselves in this problem of single parenthood, have to struggle with many problems. For example we have economic hardship. In most cases single mothers are employed in low wages jobs. To make the matter worse they are not able to work overtimes because they also have the responsibility of caring for their children. Other alternative to solve these problems like support from other parents through aids and government support comes with their conditions (Jencks & Ellwood, 2002). Even more worrying is the blames by the society placed on single mothers for social ills. They are blamed with destroying the American families, drug abuse and other misfortunes.
Stressors like the ones mentioned above affects single mothers who have to deal with more than one responsibility. In the same stance, a child is affected both indirect and directly, by mothers stressful condition. It has been noted that mothers with little satisfaction in their jobs do not enjoy their children much, have less control of their children and they do not come out as confident parents (Broniniman, 2011). Children reciprocate the lack of motherly love with loneliness, regression and other negative emotions. Comparative studies though have not shown that single mother quality of child care differs with that of married women.
As opposed to being beaten by these stressors and negative stereotypes that single mothers face in the society. A study on a number of them reveals determination to pursue dreams they hold for themselves and their children. Haleman (2004) study reveals how single mothers pushed by these stereotypes are determined to improve their life and the future of their children, by improving their education. Many people in the society believe that post-secondary education will help an individual to improve earning potential. On the other hand, major cause of economic hardship for single mothers’ economic hardship is lack of education. So what this research demonstrate with the cases of the 10 women pursuing higher education. Is that there is deliberate effort by single mother to improve their lives and come out of the dungeon the society has put them in.
Single mothers are better parents contrary to what the society believes
A second theme that has come out in relation to single mothers’ experiences is that a good number of them seem to prefer single parent family to incompatible relationships. Their decision to go it alone is made out of concerns for their children. In a nutshell there are positive reinforcements that make women to make the decision to raise their children as single mothers.
Previous researches have shown that children would be better raised on a home where there is minimum violence. In fact it has been suggested that it’s better to raise a child in a single parent family than in one where both are present but cannot accommodate each other. This has been verified by a study conducted on Filipino households which demonstrated that many parents opt for single parents to avoid raising their children in violent homes. As a result mothers prefer single families as opposed to living with a husband who does not deserve status of a father (Parron, 2008). In a single parent family, the child is inclined to enjoy more time of one parent and of course avoid growing up with memories of violent parent (Parron, 2008).
Second Reinforcement that has pushed mothers to a single parent family originates with a chronological development of the family unit. It is described to begin with changes from traditional extended family to like for a more nuclear family. Then even further where female spouse consider themselves as being single parent within a marriage institution. The rationale behind this mentality is that female spouses bear parental responsibilities in the family. For instance parent chores like taking children to school are carried out more by women (Naidoo, 1998).
Society places a huge burden to single mothers, whose children show deviant behaviours. We have looked at some of the things that push these women to single parents’ families. Consequently it would be unfair to fail to square out this blame and only seem to explain this deviance as an outcome of one parent effect. It has been documented that children are negatively affected by situations that co-occur with the development of a single-parent family. Examples given include conflicts between parents, economic disequilibrium with two parent family and instability in the place of residence (Net Industries, 2011).
Striking a balance between workplace and the family
In whichever angle you look at their lives, single mothers face strong competitive forces. Our first theme indicated stress as compelled by many public opinions, as one of the things that tear their hearts apart. This devastates their spirits and put them in awkward position. Single mothers have to peddle on in these murky and disturbed waters, for themselves, friends and children. Their lives must go on and they must do whatever they can to balance these forces tearing their lives apart. At the heart of these matter is even more powerful threat that cuts across the heart of the matter. This is the struggle to develop a career and at the same time attempting to maintain their parental roles.
To understand the gravity of single mothers challenges, it would be justifiably correct, to look at some of the forces that drives a single mothers spirit. As a start her economic status is a great incentive for her to fight to guarantee their children a dream of a better life. Single mothers’ life is in a precarious condition when compared to that of parents in traditional two parent family. This is justifiably so due to the many financial burdens that these mothers have to handle (Greenberg, 2010). In their work, Robbins and McFadden 2003 describe things that make single parents different from traditional families that have two parents. The former is said to have poverty or face decreased income, there is absence of a support system, time pressure is said to be raised and personal satisfaction lowered. Faced with these challenges mothers believes that it’s only by struggling that they can be able to guarantee a better future for their children.
Faced with this daunting challenge of guaranteeing their children a future and of course ensuring personal gratification, they have a strong value of their work. Majority of these mothers admit that it’s difficult for them to maintain equilibrium between family life and work. In spite of this these mothers claims that they would still go to their workplace even when the financial drive is missing. Comparative surveys between married women and single mothers indicate that the latter are more likely to be negatively affected either by work or family. For instance they would either miss family occasions because of their jobs or fail to develop their careers due to playing parental roles (Greenberg, 2010). The conflict between family life and workplace is said to be reciprocating, when it comes to single mother’s life. That is in some instances family life may place some demand on her work that must be accommodated by her career. Similarity work would do the same to family life (Robbins & McFadden, 2003).
In conclusion, what this study has discovered is that society puts a lot of pressure on single parents, with majority being mothers. There are many negative attitudes that single mothers are poor parents and many social ills today, can be linked to increased single parent families. Single mothers as a result exact great pressure on themselves to meet the demands of life. As a result they become stressed and this affects them and their children. However there is little connection if any to link their stress with quality parenting. Actually women are seen to be making deliberate effort to make their lives better if only to make their children have a better future. However there is a lot of imbalance in what single mothers control as compared to traditional two parents families. Single mothers’ struggling to lift their families from abyss of poverty, are thus often torn between their careers and their role as parents. These are the tenets with which I will set to discuss the indisputably intertwined experiences of the young single mothers.
Annotated Bibliography
Bronnimann, Salome. “The Stress of Single mothers and its Effect on Quality Child Care.” Research Journal Vol.7. (nd): (np). Web. Retrieved on 12October 2001.
In this report the author discuss the various causes of stress in single mothers. According to her background survey, single mothers experience stress due to their families’ financial needs and also having to provide their parental role alone. This research surveyed single mothers of two schools and employed six questions. The findings indicated that indeed mothers encounter stress, but unlike what is commonly believed, they still manage to offer quality care. More so other causes to child care were also noted in the research which means stress is not the only effect to childcare problems in single mothers’ families. This report literature review employs quality data sources. In addition other authors like Haleman state that the society puts a lot of pressure on single mothers. This therefore indicates single mothers experience stressful events. The author is a master student in Master’s college.
Parron Annie. Single Parents Parenting. nd. Web . retrieved on 14 October 2011.
In this article the author discusses some of the advantages of being single mothers. She points out to research that suggest that raising a child in a single parent household is better than bring up that child in a violent one. The author is a single parent and her work is an incite into the real life of a single mothers. Most of the work that exists indicates that single mothers have a difficult life. Like in the work of Bronimman we saw that stress due to financial problems makes a single mother life difficult for any mother to contemplate. This work therefore gives another view to this picture. Other literature like in Jencks and Ellwood also backs the decision to have a single parent family instead of raising children in a violent home.
Robbins, Lenore Rasmussen & McFadden, Joan R. “Single Mothers: The Impact of on Home and the Impact of Home on”, Journal of Family and Consumer Sciences Education, 21.1 (2003): 1-10. JSTOR. PDF file.
This report discusses the findings of a survey conducted to determine the level of satisfaction in working mothers due to the demands from both family and work. The prime desire for this research was to establish what stresses working single mothers and also to highlight factors that makes them satisfied both at home and in work. Research employed questionnaire method to acquire information form working single mothers. Analysis of findings indicates that among other factors working single mothers identify changes in their work as well as family as a major cause of their stress. Both authors are established professionals in this field. Lenore has a Phd and is an educator in University of Utah. McFadden on the other hand also has a Phd and is professor on family education in the University of Ball State.
Net Industries, Single-Parent Families – The Well-being of Children Raised in Single-parent Homes. Free Encyclopaedia, (2011). Web. Retrieved on 12 October 2011 from file:///C:/Documents%20and%20Settings/Desktop/single%20mothers/Single-Parent-Families-Well-Being-Children-Raised-In-Single-Parent-Homes.html
The author of this article discusses poverty in single mothers family as the main cause of behaviour difference as observed in children from the single mothers’ families compared to traditional two family households. Author also states that due to this poverty single mothers are unable to provide their children with quality education and indeed help them develop good behaviour. Other literature reviewed in this work indicates that indeed compared to traditional two parents families the single mother family economically is weaker. However, the idea that single mothers are not better parents has been contested by other literatures. Single mothers have been highlighted as determined to work hard either by improving their education or in their careers to ensure their children have better lives. This website covers topics on single mothers’ issues as discussed in other literatures.
Greenberg Quinlan Rosner. Single Parents in America. (2010). Web. PDF files. Retrieved on 12 October 2011.
Authors of this project report discussed experiences that single mother undergo in their life. According to the authors single mothers have many competing interest in their live that puts them on the tips of their toes. The authors also describe single mothers as very determined individuals who despite the pressure that these opposing interest puts on them, have a strong fighting spirit. Their fighting spirits is said to stem from a desire to guarantee a better life for their children. This premise is backed by Haleman’s experience with graduate single mothers. Some of the things that the author discusses as putting pressure on single mother are work and family. The authors used surveyed data from multiple researches conducted on American single mothers. In addition Greenberg is an organization that carries out research on single mothers.
Haleman, Diana L. “Great expectations: single mothers in higher education.” International journal of Qualitative studies in education, 17. 6 (2004): 769-784. JSTOR. PDF file.
In her work, the author follows ten women experience with higher education. Her background information resonates what has been highlighted in other literature that society has a bad perception about single mothers. For instance single mothers are blamed by society for destroying traditional families and also many social ills in the society. Her work suggests that due to these pressure single mothers develops some perceptions that make them act in certain ways. For instance she say that single mothers believes that by working hand in post secondary education they can improve their children life in the future. This determination espoused in this work has also been seen as a major drive for working single mothers in other literature. The author is a profession in the field of education.
Naidoo, Pravani. “The Experiences of Divorced Mothers as Single-Parents,” Psychology in Society (PINS) 23, (1998): 17-34. Web. Retrieved on 12 October 2011.
In this work, the author highlight a different reason for the increased spread of single parents’ families and especially those run by mothers. According to the author participants in his research indicates that this is as a result of what he calls a theme of transition and continuity. That is single mothers’ stems from marriages where they were the key parents and that what is taking place is just a continuation. For instance those single mothers who were in marriage for instance are used to doing things for their children with little input of their partners. The author belongs to department of psychology in university of Vista in Bloemfontein. This gives him a strong background for understanding human behaviour.
References
Bronnimann, Salome. “The Stress of Single mothers and its Effect on Quality Child Care.” Research Journal Vol.7. (nd): (np). Web. Retrieved on 12October 2001.
Ellwood, David T., & Jencks Christopher. The Spread of Single – Parent Families in the United States since 1960. Web. PDF file.
Greenberg Quinlan Rosner. Single Parents in America. (2010). Web. PDF files. Retrieved on 12 October 2011.
Haleman, Diana L. “Great expectations: single mothers in higher education.” International journal of Qualitative studies in education, 17. 6 (2004): 769-784. JSTOR. PDF file.
Naidoo, Pravani. “The Experiences of Divorced Mothers as Single-Parents,” Psychology in Society (PINS) 23, (1998): 17-34. Web. Retrieved on 12 October 2011.
Net Industries, Single-Parent Families – The Well-being of Children Raised in Single-parent Homes. Free Encyclopaedia, (2011). Web. Retrieved on 12 October 2011 from file:///C:/Documents%20and%20Settings/Desktop/single%20mothers/Single-Parent-Families-Well-Being-Children-Raised-In-Single-Parent-Homes.html
Parron Annie. Single Parents Parenting. nd. Web . retrieved on 14 October 2011.
Robbins, Lenore Rasmussen & McFadden, Joan R. “Single Mothers: The Impact of on Home and the Impact of Home on”, Journal of Family and Consumer Sciences Education, 21.1 (2003): 1-10. JSTOR. PDF file.
Use the order calculator below and get started! Contact our live support team for any assistance or inquiry.
[order_calculator]